Since I haven't blogged in a while, I dont know where to start... so what is going on in my life? Well, there are several things... One big thing that is on my mind is that I am trying to get my 6 year old back in therapy and have been dealing with the insurance on that. They keep referring us to places that don't work with children, so she is going back to Childrens Hospital in Fresno. They were really good with her and I think hit it right on the nose of what is going on with her... I just hope it works out this time because she hasn't been in for so long. We have to play catch up. But my daughter I worry about her all the time. Sometimes I think she is doing really good, and other times, I wish she hadn't stopped therapy. I think a lot of people would have given up by now.
Speaking of Jess, we have our hands full with her.. she has a personality of her own right now and I think she is learning from others and being a big smart-butt when she says things. She doesn't respond to the word "no." She would do things even though we tell her not to..she insists on doing things her way.. I am worried that she may have some OCD traits that she got from my side of the family. Her dad thinks it is from him, but I don't know..I can't turn my back on her because she will go and reorganize my stuff or think that she is helping to clean up, when really she isn't. I have to pay attention to where things are because then it will become missing. She will do it behind my back and put things where she wants it. Again, she reorganized the magnets and stuff on the fridge without me notticing. I am not sure how to punish her for these things... she seems to mean well.
My son is doing fine...we got to spend time together while my daughter and hubby were at booth sales for GS. We were bored, but just sitting and talking. I really do wish we could go out and spend money on some memories with the family, but we need to pay bills...I am sorry I seem to be always busy cleaning...it is a lot of house to cover, and I do bitch about people cleaning up their messes 'cause I wouldn't be taking time away from them if everyone just pitches in to help clean their own stuff...
I have been going through my scrapbook room cleaning that up...it was piling up out the door. I brought up stuff from downstairs and put it in there and thought I should clean it up before the hubby complains. I always have that thought in my head too about being a pack-rat like mother, so I try to steer clear of that. But cleaning out my scrap room sure does get me motivated to start scrapping again. That would be fun. I go through my pictures in that room and reminise about old times and the pics of my kids when they were babies make me think. I think I am almost done organizing it...well, I might have a few hours to go...then to organize the pictures, ugh. And I have so many on the computer, it is not even funny. But I have to take the steps to organize it or it will never get done. They say to start from the most current pictures, but what if I take some after that? Ugh. The point is that I want to put out albums for my kids to look at all the great memories. And I want to put on out of when my hubby was on the boat going over seas. All his navy days. I want him to have something in his hand to show him that it was all "worth it!" That all these navy days didn't go by and he didn't have anything to show for it. I want to show him that I am a good navy wife that will not just sit on her butt while he earns the money. I want to make the memories last. But how? They are going by so quickly? Soon he will be out...then on to the next chapter in out lives...
Well sorry for the rant, just getting carried away, lol. It is getting late and as I write this, my daughter, my son and my husband are all fast asleep while I worry about tomorrow or the next day... it is hard doing what we do. I have to find a way to be proud of who I am and enjoy each moment. I find that hard to do.
One more thing that is bothering me...ok, maybe two, lol. I have to decide between the IUD, the ablation or a hysterectomy to ease some of the PMDD symptoms I have been feeling. Second, while moving the furniture last week, I injured myself and it hurts to walk. I am waiting to go to my physical therapist next week. Hopefully everything will be alright. I know it will...well, it was good to get all this out...
