Fear of the Unknown...

I feel like my life has turned upside-down since last month when my husband didn't make chief, and now we are facing a move... we didn't know for a while where we were going to move and we were forced to "think quick"... My mom and half-brother and sister live in Florida, my sister and her family live in Arkansas, my husbands mom and step-dad live in Tennesse, and his sisters also live there with their families. His dad and step-mom also live in Tennessee. My aunt and some cousins live in San Diego and other aunt lives in Oceanside. My biological dad (whom i am not close with) lives in Colorodo. But we chose not to live in those areas. A lot of people here are moving to Texas and lots of people say it is great there. It does have tornadoes and is very hot. We were forced to learn about home-buying and loans and realators. I know we should have done this before the fact, but that didn't happen. We have had a lot of problems financially on both are parts, and have been paying on those. This pay-day I payed almost $1,000 on Credit Cards. We don't have money in savings, which makes this move very hard. Our van broke down and were forced to pay for another used transmission and that was $2,200. It is still in the shop and won't get it back till maybe Wed. of next week. We can't afford to trade it in or sell it cause we can't afford a car payment and a house payment. But i want to get another one within a year cause i predict the van will go bad again. We are driving Jason's car right now and it has no windows that roll up. It is raining today, so my friend is picking us up tomorrlw to take the kids to school. On top of that, the desktop computer gets a virus and wipes out the hard-drive. The external drive that was hooked up to it gets the virus too and says it doesn't have my pictures on it. The wireless doesn't work either, so i am dealing with my little netbook. I downgraded the Comcast that has cable, internet and phone, so now we have no long-distance, and only basic cable and 3 MB internet speed. Was looking for ways to save money so we can start saving. Guess that was a bad move. We are supposed to be flying to Texas to meet a realator to look for houses...supposed to be looking for plane tickets, but i haven't yet. Been worrying about the recent happenings on base. Two people died in a jet crash yesterday around noon...that was very sad. I pray for their families and hope they can get through this. Also, there might be a government shut-down if they approve it tomorrow by midnight. I am beyond going looney about this news. If this happens, Jason will only get paid for one week this next pay day. That will be about $800. There will be no home loans and lots of things on base will be shut down. I guess the schools will resume and the bank. The government websites will close also. My head has been spinning with questions and unknown answers to those questions that i have. How will we move if the military can't pay for it? Will the base let us live here still? Will our bills get paid? I just don't know. I know there are worse things that could happen and Japan is in a crisis right now. I just don't want to be homeless. I have a big fear of the unknown. Me and my husband have been fighting about decisions left and right. But things are fine now. I try to have a sense of humor about things. But my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I feel like a lunatic! lol. I have been so distracted. The house is not being payed attention to. I find every day to be hard to deal with. I have been staying up night after night, worrying and researching. Most of it before was worrying about the move and where we will go.Looking for houses and stuff. Now it is worrying about the shut down. I just cant take this any more. Even benadryl won't help me. Why am i fearing the unknown so much when others take things in strides? The stress is put on me to move. I feel so stupid for not being prepared. Why was i so stupid? My life is upside-down. I don't feel as secure as i felt before. I know, at least we have our health and each other. I mjust can't help to feel scared. I am glad the weekend is here so i can relax and deal with this. Be with my family. Well, pray that all will be good tomorrow.