A little disappointed...

Well, when things in life get complicated, they get complicated! I just want to live the normal like just like anyone else does, but God just has to throw those extra few wrenches in there and says, " Here, this is what you are going to get and are destined to be!" Well, that is what it feels like in this life. I try my hardest every day to beat this "thing" that is happening to me, but dang it! It is not happening. I feel myself getting stronger and stronger to beat this. First in my life, yeah it was anxiety and agoraphobia with depression that turned to mania at times. But now it is something else I have not seen before. I am dumbfounded. What is this? Of course if I tell the doctors I have had anxiety before, they will automatically pinpoint my symptoms to anxiety and stop there. Well, my new symptoms are kind of scary...no, it is downright scary!. I have been patient, and strong dealing with this every day...but now I am frustrated and even mad. What could be causing this? My symptoms are: basically I feel paralyzed. I have trouble talking...getting my words out...no matter how hard I try. If I do say something, it is slurred or I can't even say the whole word. Like I am drunk. Next thing (at same time): my legs and arms have a hard time doing what I want them to do. I feel paralyzed. I jerk when I try to move. I can't control them. I can not walk cause I can't control my legs and am so off-balanced and dizzy. Not dizzy like the room is spinning. Off-balanced and can't control legs. I know this is weird. Also, if it gets real bad, my vision gets messed up and it gets blurry or doubled and sometimes I have to close my eyes cause I can't see right. I broke down crying today (on Veterans Day) uncontrollably, cause I am so tired of it and feel so helpless. We were about to go to dinner, and it happened. It happens a lot when I am tired (which is a lot) and I force myself to do things. My husband wanted me to lay down for a couple of hours and sleep...I did so for a few seconds, but I refused to do so (stubborn me) cause I wanted to be with the family. These things usually go away with sleep, but sometimes I refuse to let it take control of me, and try to continue with my day. It usually goes away. Eventually. Sometimes it takes a couple hours for the dizziness and other symtoms to go away, and sometimes it takes all day. Sometimes I get really nautious cause of the dizziness, and that lasts all day. Once it starts, my whole day is ruined, cause it is paralyzing, and I don't feel so good. Ugh. I wish God would help me. It makes me so sad afterward when it happens. It is just another setback. Just when I am trying to move forward. After it happens, I just want to forget about it though. And I get soooo tired, from all the anxiety-like symptoms afterward. So...I am thinking this is not typical anxiety. It does not just last 10 min. I have a problem with feeling hot rather than cold. I don't tremble or think I am having a heart attack or am dying. I want to continue going on with my day, rather than sit inside. Well, I will continue my research for what is happening to me and talk to the doctors, until I find out. I now see a neurologist and I am going elsewhere to have a few tests and then follow up with her. It happens to my daughter too, and her EEG's were abnormal, so I am hoping that they will find out something for me. I am just a little bit scared! Don't think they will believe me. Well, that is all I have for now...Happy Veterans Day to all who are and have served our country! Including my husband, my grandad, and dad! Love you all!