Well, at around 12:30am Devin woke me up saying that he threw up again. So that means I only got an hour sleep, but that is ok...I went in there and cleaned up the mess and am doing some laundry...almost out of comforters! He took a bath and said it made him feel better. While he was taking a bath, I took the opportunity to talk to him about yesterday. I felt bad for getting so mad about little things. I said that it was just one of those days where I felt like I couldn't control myself. So when that happens, I said we need to go to our rooms and cool off and then come back to what we were doing. If we can't feel like we can be nice to each other, then we need a time out. Even mommy, lol. I said mommy hasn't been getting the sleep she needs, which can also contribute to it. He understood.
I feel so bad sometimes because of the way that I deal with Devin. I have no patience when it comes to him, cause it seems like he is always doing something wrong. I can't give him multiple directions or anything because he can only remember one thing at a time..he does things very slowly and takes everything so litterally..And then he gets side-tracked while he is doing these things and starts talking about something and forgets about what he is doing. Sometimes I think he has bipolar cause his mind will be running and running, and it seems like he will try to keep up with it by talking, so he will be talking alot and so fast. He thinks about anything and everything and has tons of questions! This is all good, but he brings things up at the wrong time (when I am doing something or running up and down the stairs, when it is bed time, or when I am dead tired). He is very smart and detailed and can remember things that I can't, but when he talks he can go on and on. His ADHD medicine wasn't in his system yesterday because of him throwing up. He normally would be more focused during the day and get a lot more accomplished. Without it he is a lot more sillier and bouncing off the walls. This is what I don't get. He says that he doesn't think his medicine is working! I see a big difference in him. Others think he is normally quiet or has good behavior, because they don't see him when he is off of his meds. I wish they only knew. Since he has a processing problem also, it makes it so hard to deal.
I came across this message board about Sotos Disease...I know it sounds off-the-wall, but when Devin was born, he looks just like the baby in the picture with Sotos Disease...He was born a big baby...10 lbs. 6.7 oz and a lady said that her doc thought she had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant, but she didn't. That is just like me. Devin had (and still does) a very large head/forehead. He had the exact type of budy that the baby does, and how the baby looks like he is looking downward..he has prisms in his glasses that helps with this. The only part that I don't think fit him was that these people grew to be very tall and thin. I think. Devin still has a short stature. But these people also had big hands/feet, which Devin doesn't. I thought I finally found something that explains why Devin was so big at birth and why he is having all the problems with his temper, cause it says that these kids will have behavior problems. Well, it is something to think about...or to ask his doctor.
So with Devin and I, I need to open up that line of communication with him again :) Sometimes I get so caught up with what I am doing or feeling, that I forget how to connect with my kids. I need to grow some empathy, cause I think I lost it when I became mom/dad! LOL. Seriously, playing the part of mom/dad is a tough role when your spouse is not here and you have to be the person that makes rules and reinforces them. Otherwise, the kids will walk all over you and run your life. I have seen this many times with families (even my own) and the kids learn nothing. They just learn how to be dependant on others to take care of them. I want to teach my kids how to take care of themselves in the real world. Of course I do it age appropriately. Devin already knows how to cook some easy things over the stove, and use the microwave and oven. I will not let him use the stove/oven when I am not here though, unless I feel he is old enough and mature enough. He knows how to use the dishwasher and basically knows how to turn on the washer and dryer..he knows how to help his sister, but that just backfires, because they always end up fighting and Devin gets so frustrated with her. They end up in a screaming fest. I don't think I can ever leave them alone together, lol. He knows how to get the mail by himself and how to take his own shower. He knows our phone number and address. He loses his sense of direction though if he was outside trying to find our house..He can walk home from school, but he would get lost if he would go another direction that he is not familiar with. He has done it before. The only thing I am trying to work on with him is to just do things without asking me so much and use his own judgement..if it is something that he can do or learn for himself. I encourage him to figure it out. He always asks me about everything, and he needs to just learn it for himself, or he never will. This drives me nuts because he depends on me so much to tell him to do the things that he should be telling himself to do. It scares me because I was never taught how to do most things that I am doing now and if it is taking me all these years to learn how to do things by myself, then I don't want him to go through that. I think for us it takes a while to learn things. But I think he is getting a head-start and will know how to do a lot of things before he has to live on his own. Jessica is very independant already and acts like she is grown up and a teenager already, lol. She makes her bed and cleans her room by herself without being told. She gets herself dressed before anybody else. We even got her deoderant to use (even though she doesn't need it, lol). She is a lot more organized than her brother, but I need to look through her things a lot, because she will keep things that she doesn't need, or that will stink up her room, lol, like food. She is a pack-rat. So all-in-all, I think the kids are turning out great, but need to work on some things.
Jason plans on going back to Key West in Feb and March for the navy. He will be very busy. Sometimes I think that he is getting ready to go on cruise, lol. Seems like it. But he is on shore duty! We thought this squadron would be a lot better, but it isn't. We say that about every one of them though. Sorry this is so long, I hope I didn't bore you. Some issues need to be talked about and dealt with..esp. when my best friend and partner for life is not here so I can talk his ear off, lol. I love you honey and I can't wait to see you.
